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The Art of Staying Quiet

By Maria Bickel, Cornwall-Lebanon Education Association May 18, 2016
TALK! I love to talk. Anyone who knows me will say I love to talk. Unfortunately, I have hit a talking wall. I have hit the talking wall of my child.  

I have found over the past few months, that the LESS I say, the better! Some mornings, when the outfit didn’t turn out quite right, or the hair didn’t work in just the perfect way, she does not want my advice, helpful hints, or positive words. She wants and NEEDS me to be quiet so she can learn to deal with things on her own.

I have also found that she sometimes just needs to talk WITHOUT me interjecting anything. (I have a lot to say…but REALLY, she wants me to say NOTHING!) She just wants to be HEARD! This is new to me. For years I have happily pointed out everything with beautiful adjectives, figurative language, and words of wisdom…but now…SILENCE.

Many times I have found as a teacher, the quieter you are and the less you say, the more they listen. I have had to start applying this to my own child as she has been growing older. Parents have told me, “Well, I talked with her for over an hour about it, and she didn’t want to listen!” Most kids know when they have done something wrong and don’t need it rehashed for hours. Talk WITH them about it for a few minutes, and then leave them alone (with no electronics, tvs, etc.) to process it through on their own. Then come back later, and discuss what they could have done to make a better choice and MOVE ON!  

“MOVE ON” is one of my favorite sayings. Don’t hold onto things forever. Learn from it and MOVE ON. Don’t hold it against your child. Don’t keep bringing it up. Be QUIET and MOVE ON.

In conclusion, being quiet can bring your children some time to think and time to process feelings. It’s hard if you love to talk like me, but your children will thank you for it in the long run! The next time you REALLY want to interject and give some advice to your child do the following: Think about it, decide, and know it is ok to be QUIET.