I grew up loving to read and we read faithfully to our kids at naptime and bedtime, but rarely these days do I allow myself to pick up a book for me. Why, you wonder? Because then I don't want to do anything else until I finish it! But recently, I found myself with some time and I knew the perfect book that would bring me back to my good ole' reading days before I had kids that consumed every spare minute of my life.
Confessions of a Scary Mommy
A friend of mine turned me on to Scary Mommy, a mother of three who took time off to stay home and raise her kids, and her website. In her book, she shares her personal experiences as well as some of the anonymous confessions that other moms have posted on her website through the years. I immediately fell in love with the honest, sometimes hysterical, always heartfelt posts and confessions that were more often than not something I could relate to.
So when I heard that she had turned her website into a book and that I could buy it on Amazon for $10 - I was convinced!
I'm so glad I broke my no-books-for-me rule because I can't honestly remember the last time I laughed so hard at anything - a person, a book, a movie. I knew the looks that I was getting from my family - or when I read the last few pages of confessions in a doctor's office waiting room - but I didn't care. Scary Mommy covered it all in her book, from finding out she was pregnant to the mommy cravings we get when we see a cute baby but know that we don't want any more of our own. From the adorable infant stage to the moments when you're whining/crying/moody kid is driving you crazy.
This book is as honest and blunt of a look at motherhood as I have seen, while imparting so much personal experience that you find yourself relating to those other moms that you have never met.
It’s a quick read with mini chapters of just a few pages each, so if you have a vacation coming and are looking for a book to take along, or you’re just in need of a good laugh, this book is for you. Below are some of my favorite excerpts.
The Baby Weight
Sure those middle of the night Oreos satisfied my craving, but are they worth 20 extra pounds that I still have almost three years later? Scary Mommy made me realize I'm not alone.
"Even though I knew from past experience just how hard that weight eventually would be to take off, I ate my way through nine delicious months all over again. Sixty-five pounds, right on the button. I can't say I have any regrets, though. My Ben was worth every last calorie, just like his brother was less than two years later. Even if I'm still carrying those croissants around on my a__."
Changing Diapers
The floor, the back seat of a car, when your baby needs to be changed, you make do with what you’ve got.
"Speaking of diapers and ease, my kids got changed anywhere and everywhere. I'm always amused by parents who schlep around fancy portable changing stations or own designer changing tables lined with terry cloth. Kind of silly, no? It is s__t we're talking about, after all. I plopped my kids right on the kitchen floor or the ottoman or wherever was convenient and that's where we did our business. It was far easier than having to march upstairs a hundred times a day, and an old towel was just as effective as some overpriced gingham cover thing. And fancy disposal systems? Pfft. I refused to buy expensive refill bags when I could just use the ones I already had from the grocery store. It would be like flushing the toilet with Perrier."
Germs
Don't even get me started on her daycare stories and how her children contracted rotavirus before a long car trip or introduced lice to the household. As a working mom, my kids both attend daycare and I will admit that I cringe every time a "Health Alert" email hits my inbox.
"I remember venturing out to the pediatrician's office for that first well-check with each of my new children. There, in droves, were my worst nightmares come to life. I instantly understood what all this "stranger danger" talk was about - these strangers were completely hazardous! Suddenly, instead of being simple annoyances that interrupted my quiet lunch or came to my door selling unwanted cookies, the children were threats, plain and simple. Threats to my baby."
As much as I laughed until I cried while reading this book, the end brought me sad tears since I fear just how true these words will ring. Scary Mommy recalls a dinner out alone with her three children and a woman in her 80s telling her, "'Enjoy these days. They'll be over in a heartbeat and you'll miss them for the rest of your life.'" For all the one-liners and laughs contained in this book, she reflects on the comment from that woman and leaves us with words to live by.
"The days may last forever, but the years pass by in a blink; the secret to survival is actually remembering to take a deep breath every now and then and enjoy ourselves along the way."
GIVEAWAY:
Author Jill Smokler has agreed to give away one copy of her book to a lucky Lebanon Macaroni Kid mom! Leave a comment below with your best confession that you're willing to share to be entered.
Deadline for entry is Monday, July 2 at noon. Winner will be randomly selected and notified by email. Winner has 48 hours to respond or a new winner will be chosen. All entrants must be at least 18 years old and a subscriber to Lebanon Macaroni Kid.
