I had an “ah-ha” moment on Christmas Eve 2008. I had been standing in my kitchen for what felt like decades, peeling shrimp, hand rolling meatballs, whipping up taters, and composing a dessert I hoped my family would devour at my first-ever Christmas Eve dinner. I had already spent hours scrubbing the house and perfectly grooming myself and my 1-year-old daughter.
Then the husband entered the kitchen. “Hey, can you get Camilla a cup of milk?”
I lashed out. “What?!?! Can’t you see that I’m a little busy here?!?!?! I asked you to be in charge of her for ONE DAY while I get ALL OF THIS STUFF ready for OUR family and you can’t even get her a cup of milk yourself?!?!?!”
Unfortunately, this was after 487 other lashings I handed out on this day. Then my always-cool, totally self-controlled, intensely-caring husband replied. “I swear, if this is how you are going to continue to behave around the holidays we are NEVER celebrating them again.” The stress and strain written all over his usually too-cute face stopped me dead in my tracks. I looked around. The meal was perfect, the house was spotless, my daughter's outfit was adorable, but the three of us looked miserable. I had ruined Christmas Eve for those I loved the most.
I’d like to say from that point forward I was the world’s best mother and wife, and never made another mistake again. Clearly that did not happen, but I did what I do best.
I organized.
I organized my thoughts about what went well, and what went terribly wrong. I thought about where all that stress was coming from and I brainstormed ways to prevent it from happening again. Fast forward six years and two more kids and there are a lot of parts of motherhood I still haven’t conquered.
But, when it comes to surviving the holidays I’ve got it down to a science. So, here are some tips for getting through Christmas week and a few ideas to make next year even easier.
The freezer is your friend.
Ugh, the cooking. I think it’s the looming deadline that stresses me out the most. “They’re going to be here in one hour! The potatoes aren’t even boiled yet, but the meat is going to dry out! The sky is falling!Run, run for your lives!” So, I eliminated the deadline.
I tweaked my Christmas Eve meal to something freezer friendly, cook it in advance, and on Christmas Eve day I reheat the food. This even works with cookie batters. I’m telling you, if there is one thing that has saved my marriage it is this trick. I’ve done it for a number of parties we’ve hosted and it has worked miraculously. And when all else fails, there is always catering.
Trim the fat (and I don’t mean from your diet.)
Sometimes around the holidays I literally revert to what feels like survival techniques. It’s as if I’m about to be abandoned on a desert island. What is essential and what is expendable?
Purchasing presents for my children? Necessary. Purchasing cute little individually monogrammed, healthy, and educational presents for the 25 kids in each of my children’s classes? So totally not even close to being necessary. Therefore, I trimmed it out. Every December I also trim out volunteer commitments, extra work-related activities, doctor's appointments, birthday parties, and anything else that causes me to roll my eyes. Bye-bye fat. Hello sanity.
Of course the earlier you start Christmas shopping the less stressed out you feel. But try taking it one step further.Prep one year ahead. The week before and right after Christmas is a great time to restock.
I make a large online order of wrapping paper at a crazy discounted price. I make a run to the craft store and fill my cart with tape, labels, ribbon, bows and décor. And since my kids are still at that “coordinate their outfits to look cute” stage, I purchase their fun holiday shirts, sweaters and dresses, again, at crazy good clearance prices, one size up. Crap gets done and my bills stay low.It’s like a win-win for my mental stability.
I heart spreadsheets.
And like any good organizational freak of nature I keep track of it all in a spreadsheet. A budget for all the gifts, grocery list and plan for cooking day, even an outline of what outfits the kids are wearing for each holiday event. I upped my game this year by uploading my spreadsheet onto my Google docs. Now I can access all that info on my phone from the store when needed.
Embrace the label maker, or make your own.
There is nothing worse than tearing down the Christmas decorations. The holiday is over, the spirit has flown to Florida, and all that’s left is the dread of a long and dark winter. It’s so easy to just throw the junk in boxes and give them a kick down the basement stairs.
After a few years of screaming even more profanities at my saint of a husband – “I don’t know WHERE the lights are babe, YOU took them down now YOU find them yourself!!!” – we invested in red and green Christmas storage bins and a ten dollar label maker. Pack things away in an order that makes sense when it comes time to take it out. Perhaps that means grouping all the garland in one, picks and sprays in another, or pack it room by room. Most importantly, label the outsides. Fancy bins and label makers not in your price range? Find uniform size boxes and tape on a piece of red construction paper. Instant Christmas bins!
Shut off social media.
Have you ever noticed how Facebook and friends come alive whenever a holiday is approaching? All of a sudden my news feed is flooded with adorable pics and stories documenting all the wonderful things everyone out there is doing. Elves on shelves are being all naughty, reindeer food is being made, and Christmas books are being read nightly. It’s magical for everyone!
But when I see it on Facebook, my guilt ridden, self-deprecating, alter-ego chimes in. “Why aren’t YOU doing all those magical things with your kids? Huh, huh, HUH?” So, I don’t look. At least, not incessantly. My friends and family have every right to share their holiday joy with others, but I have a choice about how much I obsess over it. So I take a gander, “like” their joy, and move on to focus on my own family.
It’s one week until Christmas and there is still work to be done, but instead of facing it with an overwhelming need to control the work and all those around me, my family and I are able to enjoy the peaceful moments in between the Christmas chaos.
Gia is a school counselor by day, mom of three by night, organizational addict at heart, and wife to an incredibly patient husband.
